The year 2012 started off different for me, for one I wasn’t surrounded by the usual jolly music and dancing that had become a ritual in my home back in Nigeria. I was with a very good friend of mine and His family, a deep sleeping friend of mine anyway. Instead of entering the new year with the sounds of Sunny Ade filling my head, I was serenaded by his deep snoring, I still could not believe that he could sleep through the excitement of entering 2012, I guess to him, it’s just another day. I lay there beside him watching motivational videos off YouTube, trying to sort of psyche myself up for the year to come. I don’t know why, but I feel this has to be the year for me, a year that would finally define my individual. A year of the beginning of the true me, this is ironic as this year has already been predicted by some as the year of doom, as the end of life as we know. Perhaps deep in my subconscious, that’s where the motivation comes from, the inspiration to make something out of my life before the so called end of the world. Even now, as different thoughts run through my constantly distracted mind, this goal stands out clear and defined.
I have always had this feeling of time running out, this fear of not achieving anything before the end. This fear has not been helped by the numerous events that occurred last year; the Arab revolution, the emergence of the extremist group back home, the continued and increased awareness on Global warming and not to forget the predictions of the Mayan calendar this 2012. These all added a great deal to my ever growing anxiety that has been with me for years, it has truly hindered me from great deal of things. However, this year would be different; my fear would serve as fuel for my goal, my goal to achieve my true individuality. 2012 shall clear all doubts of previous year; it shall answer all questions of previous years. This year, I refuse to let my fear stop from being who I am supposed to be, who I am meant to be. This year I shall not hide behind a wall of uncertainty, I shall not be controlled by the lazy nature of procrastination. This is not a resolution, but an epiphany. The sudden realization that I must show the world who I am, the sudden need to be defined. This is a yearning to hear the world tell my tales.
