Free verse

Inhale 
Take a deep breath,
Follow the trail
It would lead you into the unknown depth
Like delving into the deepest ocean trench 
You give up all your senses, yet you feel no wrench 
And through the blindness you will know light
You will then realise that seeing doesn't always mean sight 
In your deafness you will find the sweet music of silence 
Enjoying as you are enveloped in the melody of solace 
As you go deeper, you understand the joy of stillness
Revealing life in its ever present infinite bliss
Nothing beats the joy of knowing you are primary 
Knowing that unlimited happiness is yours for free
In this moment you see, hear, and feel the self imposed boundary 
Exhale 

Inhale 
Can you see it now? 
The insanity, we call sanity 
The illusions, we call reality 
Do you hear it now? 
The limitations we call definitions 
Several words and their fatal interpretations 
Can you feel it now? 
The pain of the suffering earth 
As it rotates towards the brink of its apocalyptic death 
You now know, you have all the right answers 
What you were lacking were the right questions 
Exhale 

Inhale 
You now see the flood of insanity drowning humanity
You see the insanity in every form, in every wave 
Only humans seek to "make a living" 
How can you make what you already have ? 
Is it possible to build a house you already live in ? 
All in an effort to ensure that we are never poor
we keep acquiring more and more 
Forgetting that no matter how much we crave 
There will never be enough space for riches in the grave 
Exhale 

Inhale
Remember the words of Rumi
Keep breaking your heart till it opens 
Like bright light from the highest of heavens 
Let your light shine through your mundane reality 
Until all that's left now is wonderful, eternal 
Bare, naked, pure and true
Once you are stripped of all doubts and fears, you will ask
What will I do? if I knew I could never fail
Exhale 

Illusion of Separation

"We blame society, but we are society..."

On my recent return to Nigeria, I arrived through Murtala Mohammed International Airport Lagos. It had been a frustrating morning, from a two hour delay to terrible services aboard a sorry excuse for a plane. As we landed the airport, being herded towards immigration and customs, the most cliché incident happened, the lights went out (don't worry this isn't another cliché lament on the inefficiencies of Nigeria). I wasn't fazed, neither was I shocked at the power failure; if anything it was expected. However, something did happen as we queued up to have our passport checked that surprised me. An immigration officer walking past me lamented "Nigeria sha...only in Nigeria, will such a thing happen". He said this with a shake of his head. For some reason, this did not sit well with me. I mean, I had already heard similar remarks from fellow Nigerians on the queue, so I didn't understand why that of the officer bugged me so. Fast forward a few weeks, I'm in the middle of another typical argument about Nigeria's woes  with a close friend. She then says "Nigeria's problem is not my problem, not my responsibility". All of a sudden it hit me. It was a realisation that silenced me, and threw me into deep thought. I've thought about it before, but just sparingly. However now, it seemed so obvious, so glaring. Finally, I saw through the illusion.

Several of us (especially the youths) are trapped in an illusion. Unfortunately this illusion is self induced; we have decided to trap ourselves in an illusion of separation. The only reason, the remark made by the immigration officer bothered me so much was just because of one simple fact: he was in uniform. A man wearing the immigration service  uniform is a representative of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. As a representative of the state, he has no right to separate himself from the state or the problems of the state. It's like the cashier at a bank complaining to you, the customer, about poor customer service in the bank; it sounds absurd. But in truth, it is my assumption that is absurd. What makes me separate from the state or the problems of the state? My passport doesn't differentiate me from the state. When I'm outside the country I am a representative of the country in its totality. The problems are not the country's alone but mine as well.

Don't get me wrong, I know that certain decisions of key actors  have and still are crippling the nation, but the thing is we are all being influenced by these decisions. We cannot escape it. We being passive and believing that it is "their" responsibility to give us power, water, good roads or safety is getting us nowhere. By separating ourselves from the state and the problems of the state, we are not only giving up our responsibilities but ownership as well. This is our country, not "their" country. Next time you hear a remark such as "Nigeria is a failed state", remember that the true meaning of that remark is that "you are a failed state". Or next time you hear someone say "Nigeria is inefficient", remember that what the person is really saying is that "you are inefficient". It's time as youths and as citizens, for us  to stop the blame game. Let's leave that for the petty party politics and politicians. It's time for us to see past this illusion of separation and take our role as active citizens. Citizens, to which being Nigerian isn't merely a passive adjective used to identify oneself, but an active noun vested with the power to make positive impacts on the country.  We are all stakeholders, and representatives of the state. We are not separate from the state or the problems of the state.

Conviction

What do you fear? What makes you doubt yourself so? Why do you belittle your own potential? I've asked myself this question so many times. I've answered  it so many times. Maybe it's that I'm being held back? or I'm too young and being pressured? I keep putting excuses in my way as to why I shouldn't be great. As these excuses clout my mind like dark clouds on a rainy day, I begin to realise my decline. Slowly by freeing the lease on my decisions and handing it over to someone else, I become comfortable. The same very circumstance I thought I was running away from. I begin to play it safe. My dreams have now become like domesticated birds; they will always have the potential to fly but they know they never will. They will lift off from the ground at rare occasions, but they will never soar into the sky. I know this, I feel this, yet I do nothing. I realise one vital fact about myself though. I lack conviction. I lack that constant energetic fervour that pours through the vein of great people. I have seen it in people around me. This conviction makes them move with solid form through a world of liquid mushy uncertainty. Conviction gives them form and structure. Conviction gives them a purpose. Not having conviction is terrible. it is like existing in an inertial limbo. The certainties of before become the uncertainties of now and the failures of tomorrow. A lack of conviction leads you into a lazy comfortable life of pushing your choices away. You give up yourchoices to the arbitrary bliss of fate.

From time to time, something shakes me up. something that gives me reassurance like receiving a debit alert. It comes in flashes through the norm that is my everyday life. It reminds me repeatedly to be on my toes. It reminds that being comfortable will not hide me from my responsibility. Giving excuses is about being below the bar. Being safe is about staying where you are without having to justify not being where you can be and where you want to be. I might not have conviction, but I believe I faith. I faith in myself, my potential and ability. I have faith that I can excel, I have faith that I can do better and that I will do better. Faith is another form of conviction. It is gentler in its tips and messages. It hides in a motivational word, or an inspirational deed. It is the encouraging friends, the admirable brother, the patience, the sweet tenderness of a lovely sister. I have so much life around me, I have no choice but be alive. I have to wrestle fate to take control of my own destiny. The beauty of life is in living it, not in hiding from it.