Epiphanies

“When was the last time you did something for the first time?” 

I recently had three epiphanies. The first one probably would not be so shocking to the people that know me quite well; I am not planned. I have never used the word “plan” in any way to describe any aspect of my life. I do not store dates down in my calendar (I don’t even have one), neither do I set reminders on my phone. I can’t even remember the last time I was awoken by an alarm. I remember and do stuff according to their importance. So as you can imagine, for a final year student, I am constantly tormented with the remembrance of my thesis. I was enduring one of such torment. Just a week to the mid-semester break, at the library. I stared at my computer screen which was blank except for the heading “Data analysis and interpretation”. A friend of mine, approached me at this moment and asked me to join him on a trip during the mid-semester break. I would have laughed it off as a joke, if I already didn’t know how crazy this particular friend was. Then, I asked where exactly this trip was going to be to. The North of Ghana he said. This time I couldn’t hold down my laughter. I mean there was no justification for this level of craziness. After my laughter, I shook my head and sort to concentrate on other importance things. But then, he (my friend) asked me why I wouldn’t go? As he asked me this key question, I had another epiphany about myself. The thing is, even though I am completely unplanned, I am not spontaneous either. I don’t just get up and do crazy stuff for the fun of it or for the thrill of it. I am far from what you would describe as an adrenaline junky. I do things at my own pace, in a comfortable and safe space. Why would I pack my bags and go around aimlessly in the North, when I can comfortably work on my thesis in the safe Ashesi Campus? As I thought this question to myself I had my third and probably the most important epiphany; I’m a sheep. A sheep here defined as a person with the inability to make choices, for fear of failure or major indifference to the outcome. I was herded into school. I chose Business Administration as a major, because it was close to accounting (my mum’s predicted profession for me). The most exciting choices I had to make were electives. Even then, except for a few exceptions, I always chose the lecturer which was most generous with grades, or the course which I thought was easier (this rationale always led me to horrible choices). So instead of telling my friend no out rightly, I told him I’ll think about it.

So for the next week, I thought about it. It was like a battle between my thesis and the trip. I hear my classmates talking about their thesis and deadlines, and my heart skips a beat out of fear. I see my friend searching through the internet for sites to see in the north, and I grit my teeth as I imagine the potential regret. I have not always been so excellent at setting my priorities but I had done ok. I knew that rationally, my thesis should come first. However, my mind seemed to be appreciating the idea of a trip more and more. The chance to break free from the monotonous routine. The time to break the boundaries of my comfort and safety. I thought to myself, in the next ten to twenty years, what stories would I have to tell about my time in school? Would I be excited to tell people about all the times I was half asleep in class or would I want to tell people of a faltering and funny journey from Accra all the to way to Paga (A border town in Northern Ghana)? It should be noted, that this is not only about being able to tell a story. It is also about knowing that this is probably the only time I would have enough time and energy. Baz Lurhman said in his song, sunscreen “Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth… you would never understand the beauty and power until they’ve faded”. I want to look back at this moment, with an appreciative nod of satisfaction and fulfilment, knowing that I utilized my youth well. Again it’s not just about getting up and traveling. It’s about doing something. It’s time I stopped hiding under the excuse of “I have work to do” or “I have an assignment due”.  Our education is not only in the classroom, our education is the wholesome experience of the entire four years away from home. On the day before the trip, I made my decision (I guess I am spontaneous after all).

On the 2^nd of March, I had my backpack on, my heart was beating a tad bit faster than normal. I was standing beside my friend in a line under the scorching sun of Accra, ready to board the Accra bus straight to Paga. Below is a picture to testify that I would never ever regret or forget this trip.

Comfort

I once received one of those funny pictures that circulated during the height of BBM instant messaging. The picture was that of an old newspaper dated 1985, the caption reading “No more Black Out!!-NEPA”. Without giving much thought to it, I laughed hard and true. The funniest thing was that, the picture had been sent while the lights were out.  I then proceeded to forward it to my other contacts. That was it…that was my reaction to the further realization that my government had failed. There was no outrage, no reflective thought, just a reduction of a grave issue into trivia. I mean, NEPA (Now PHCN) has always been this way. I was never born into a Nigeria which was free from power outages, one which was flowing with regular water supply or one where my parents didn’t bolt the doors and gates to protect us through the night. I inherited a dark, dry and unsafe Nigeria. Although, it would be a great exaggeration to claim that I was at the brunt end of Nigeria’s inefficiencies. When the lights were out, there was a generator to back it up. The only source of water I came to recognize was that of a borehole. There was always the mai guardi, who made us “feel” safe. Yes, you could say I’m one of the "lucky" ones; the ones only grazed by Nigeria’s inefficiencies. The “ones” that are comfortable. That wouldn’t have been so bad, if everyone else was just as lucky as I was.

Recently I was at the library and about to perform my everyday browsing ritual. First, I open my email, followed by Linda Ikeji’s blog, then Daily Mail (Football), and other tabs of interest and assignments. On Linda’s blog, I scrolled down, digesting the day’s gossip and gist. Then my eyes fell atop a familiar bit of news. This news had been repeated over and over again, different varieties but same message. The news read “Boko Haram attacks Federal Govt College Yobe, kills 29 students”. I stopped scrolling, staring at the headline, with a picture of masked militia men carrying arms. My heart beat was normal, my breathing was normal, everything in and around me was going on as normal. I said to myself when would this stop? Instantly, I was triggered to the headline of another piece of news only a few weeks ago: “Photos: Officer killed by Boko Haram to be buried this Thursday”. This was the exact same thing I said, the exact same reaction I had. I then went ahead to open older posts and on the same day as the last similar bit of news was another headline: “Boko haram men attack 2 villages in Borno + Govt seals border with Cameroon”. This particular bit of news was sitting just above the headline; “Super-hot Toyin Lawani stylishly rocks her baby bump for Exquisite”. This became extremely unsettling as I realized to myself, that this, to me seemed normal. The massacre of people sat comfortably with celebrity gossip. I discussed it with a couple of friends and one of them said “it is like old, repeated news…its tiring”. The death of scores of Nigerian citizen is tiring? Are we that comfortable? Are our lives going that fantastically well? Are we that disconnected as a nation?

The killings in itself, is barbaric, gruesome and just plain wicked. However, I believe we have committed a far greater sin; the sin of Apathy. Comfort has made the lot of us apathetic and disconnected. We seem to have sort of tricked ourselves, that what is happening in the North is something far, far, far away. The countless people that are killed there every week are only given a fleeting moments of our thought. There have been an estimated 12,000 deaths due to Boko Haram insurgence between 2012 and 2013 alone. These are staggering and shocking statistics, for a country that is meant to free of war. Even sadder, is the fact that the people being killed have absolutely no influence on any political or economic decisions, yet they pay the price for the consequences of government decisions, or lack thereof. In 2012, the Human Rights Watch released an article titled “Nigeria: Boko Haram Attacks Likely Crimes against Humanity”. Two years on, this is still the same issue we are battling with. It has now become a part of the everyday; a new topic of discussion on BBM or to be more recent, Whatsapp. It is easily becoming one of the inefficiencies of the country. It is easily being accepted as the reality. Soon enough kids won’t understand what it means to live in a Nigeria without Boko haram. Soon enough this will become our reality.

Are we really that comfortable? Are the country’s affairs going as planned? In the same sovereign state, where 70% of the people are below poverty line, is the same nation where $20, 000,000,000 cannot be accounted for. This is a country where universities are plagued with dilapidating infrastructure and rebellious striking lecturers. Our senate approves child marriage but criminalizes gay rights. Our President, in his comfortable distance, comes out to condemn the “killings”, while offering the aggrieved his sympathy. When has this sympathy which he so willingly offers, helped protected anyone from the cruelty of Boko Haram. I laugh when, I hear people attacking him (The President), for not handling the issues of the nation well. I think our dear President is suffering from the exact same thing we are all suffering; comfort. Our comfort has disconnected us so much from the happenings around us. I do not seek to compare to evils or trying situations, but it is fair to say that the Ukrainians did not put up with half the things Nigerians put up with every single day. Yet, the country (Ukraine) is in turmoil and crises because the people know their power and rights, while we remain here dormant. It should be noted that I do not seek to incite or encourage violent protests and anarchy like we have seen in different parts of the world, but I am saying it is high time we woke up.

It is time for us to move beyond having to read a blog post about the deaths of innocent people and seeing comments like “first to comment”. It is time we moved beyond commercialized soft pornography for music videos. It is time to realize that although distance might save you from the brutality of boko haram, it shall not protect you from the terrible policies, unemployment, power failure or inadequate water supply. It is time we moved beyond party politics and realize that APC and PDP are cut from the same cloth. It is time we stop attacking each other with unnecessary sentiments, and start attacking issues with proper planning and discourse. It is time our attitude, thoughts and actions reflect that of our current surroundings. When we open eyes to these truths and so much more we will realize a simple, obvious yet shocking reality; we are not as comfortable as we think we are. Only when our cruel apathy is replaced by genuine empathy shall we move forward.

My father always had a sentence, he would say to us anytime I or my siblings have misbehaved badly. It translated to: Do not let joy, or in other words comfort spoil it. Please, we have to fight hard to ensure we are not blinded by comfort. It is not much, in fact it is grossly inadequate, but I dedicate this to all the “unlucky” ones; the ones feeling the brunt of the harsh realities of Nigeria’s inefficiencies. You are not forgotten, neither are you neglected. I (and hopefully) others shall keep fighting to bring comfort back into your lives.

*Statistic were gotten from U.N reports and index mundi. 

The Awakening

I can feel my heart beating faster, I can feel the hair o my neck stand at full attention like a well trained corporal. I can't describe it, but I know and I can sense an overwhelming energy moving through my body. I feel my heart release this energy to pump vibrantly through my veins till it occupies every crevice in my body, it fills the tiniest inch of me. It digs deep to my very core, taking control of what I see, what i breathe, what i smell, what I feel and what I hear. After years of dormant, inert slumber, i awaken to the true reality of a cruel and destructive world. A world where comfortable lies are preferred to harsh truths. A world where a scramble for control and power leaves behind a twisted and gory wasteland of collateral. where a battle of ideas precedes the preservation of the world. We are swept along-in the name of conformity, in this amazing force of destructive river that seeks to end our very existence as we know it.

But I refuse to be dragged along with the unjust and evil river of ignorance and conformity. As for me, I shall deepen my roots in the soil of education, knowledge and wonder. I shan't be swept away. I shall not be a slave to fear neither shall I allow comfort seduce me. For everyday i seek to make a promise of Albert Camus' words; my very existence shall be a rebellion. Yes, we have been beaten down, tricked, deceived, exploited, and insulted, but we have not been silenced. Our voices shall no longer be the whisper that is easily brushed away as the nuisance of a buzzing fly. No, we shall be that growling before the bark, lightening before thunder, that rumbling before the storm. Slowly, our voices will become louder, our decibels defying the exploitative laws of this broken world. Until there is just one unifying deafening roar which would be heard in the deepest trenches and the highest mountain. Until our voices shake and break the chains of this imposed order.

So wherever you are, with everything you do, let your truth shine. Speak the truth, sing the truth, write the truth, paint the truth. Your truth shall be the rebellion. Let your truth be light and soon enough all those asleep in the darkness shall awaken to the light. 

The Voice

The gift of the voice is so rich 

So rare, that it shouldn't be wasted 

There is so much truth flowing in our head 

That its shocking that they don't preach 

But instead they have given into the illusions 

They are so lost in it, that it replaces all true convictions 

So they open their mouth 

But only falsity and vanity flow out 

Words of the tainted gospel 

Powerful as they are, 

they put the generation under a spell

Surely this can never be at par 

To the powerful truth that rang in THEIR lyrics

Yes, THEY were the government critics 

THEY understood the need for conscious liberation 

So THEY sang songs of freedom

Oh! How badly these conformists need redemption 

So they can tell us about government magic 

And how to see through their greatest trick 

Oh! The people need a champion 

Someone to be iron like a lion in Zion 

Someone to elevate us from the illusions of Babylon 

The VIRGIN TRUTH awaits us all

We all have the power, we have the choice 

To be above IT, and watch IT fall

Into the abyss of forgotten truth

To join the pile of incredible myth

But for this, we need that lyric, that truthful voice